Attention Fellow World Citizens! AHEM!!
I have noticed that we are about to have something called a Presidential Election here in the United States. If you watch the news for very long, you wonder how on earth either of those guys who want to be President could possibly be chosen! Apparently they're BOTH terrible ogres who eat small children for breakfast and kick puppies and all sorts of other really mean things.
SO! I have decided that it is my duty as a United States Basset to RUN FOR PRESIDENT MYSELF!
I know, I know, it's a very big job, but it's only for four years, then I can go back to my job with Mummy at the Porsche Dealership. I feel that it is important for my country to have upstanding leadership from someone who isn't thoroughly evil, which, if the news is to be believed, BOTH of the other candidates are. Anyway, who can resist an adorable Basset?
My cousin Buster, who was once Governor of Virginian Bears is advising me.
He says that I'll need a platform and that he will help me build it just as soon as he's done with the big honey roast he's hosting this week. He also said that I will need a "Cabinet". I asked if he'd help me build THAT too, but he said that wasn't something you build, it's something you pick people for. It seems like you need a whole bunch of secretaries. I told him I only have a typist and SHE's not always very reliable. Buster has been explaining about all the different secretaries and so forth that I'll need.
I'll need a Vice President. Well THAT can be Turbo. He'll make a good one I think. Everybody loves him and Buster says that not everybody should be Bassets 'cause it might look like I'm discriminating...whatever that is.
Buster says I need a Surgeon General...will a Nurse General do? People like nurses better than surgeons anyway. Nurse Bimmer will be perfect for the job I think.
And I'll need a Secretary of De Fence. That's super easy! My good friend Bernie will be just right. He knows all about fences because he just got a new one.
Also have to have a Secretary of Steak. I know I'll have lots of applicants for that position...everyone may have to take turns, but I think my pal Baxter would be a good one to start. I'm sure he knows everything there is to know about steak!
Doesn't he just look like someone who knows all about steak?
Hopefully my good friend and step-dad, Jefferson Basset will be appointed AmBassetHound from the UK. I sure would be glad to welcome him to Embassy Row!
And of COURSE there will be excellent relations between the White House and my very dear Queen Bailey! I can hardly wait to dance with her at my first State Dinner!
[photo withheld pending Her Majesty's approval]
Now we need a Secretary of Boneland Security. I think that should be my Momma Dog, Samantha. She's very protective of bones. And chewies. And other valuable goodies.
And...a Secretary of the Treasury? Isn't that the same thing as Boneland Security? I think we can do away with THAT position. There! I haven't even been elected yet and I'm already eliminating big government waste! HA!!
Now I've got to put the computer away and go practice running. I understand this is a RACE! Get out your stopwatches! And REMEMBER! VOTE FOR BENTLEY!!!!
(Thanks to Bernie, Baxter, Jefferson, and Bernie for photos!)